Calorie Counters on Ellipticals: Trustworthy?

The ellipticals are always filled at my gym. It's mostly people trudging along slowly, wearing baggy clothes, because--
despite riding the elliptical every day--they're still pudgy.

WHY do these people ho-hum their time away on the lazy-man elliptical? Because the screen SAYS they're torching calories.

Does your elliptical say you burn 400 calories in 20 minutes? Bullsh*t.

All cardio machines just guess-timate your calories burned, but its calculations are based solely on your weight, speed,
resistance, and distance covered. There are SO MANY other factors involved, such as

1) How much of your weight is muscle, and how much is fat?
--The more muscle you have, the more calories you will burn.

2) Are you male or female?
--Males tend to have more muscle, so they burn more calories with the same effort. (Bastards!)

3) Are you bouncing on the pedals or bending your knees slightly to ensure
constant tension on your muscles?
--Keeping your knees slightly bent is more difficult and will burn more calories.

4) Are you pumping the arm bars or are you letting them fly in the wind?
--Incorporating your upper body can increase your calorie burn big time.

5) Are you new to the elliptical, or have you been riding it for months?
--When you're new, your body isn't used to it and will burn more calories.

6) Are you keeping a steady pace or adding interval training?
--Interval training burns more.

If you take the easy route in riding, the screen will say you burned the same amount of calories than if you made your ride
more challenging.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but at least now you won't waste your time prancing away when you could bend your knees,
pump your arms, and interval-train your way to a lean bod!